How to pick a lock (And other useful skills with a toddler around)

So funny story today, I got locked out of the house by a two year old.

This amazing tale of suffering and ultimate triumph in the face of toddler misbehavior starts innocently enough. Mr. Jack McPuggle is on antibiotics which can cause some nausea and diarrhea, poor guy. So when he comes over by me and I can see that he is trying not to have an accident on his mother's nice hardwood floor, I have to act quickly and take him out. Since the monsters are up and about and I don't want to leave them in the house alone, I hit upon a brilliant idea. Hook the puggles up on their chains tied to the deck. What could possibly go wrong?

As I attach Bailey and Jack to their chains I hear Luke start to cry. Danger, danger unhappy baby! I bound up the stairs and rush through the door to save the poor, suffering baby. Oh wait that would have been perfect, but instead I run into a door that won't open and can hear Liam giggling inside. Dear God, please tell me that little turd didn't just lock me out of the house while I was taking care of the dogs. As calmly as I can (which is not very calm at all) I tell Liam to unlock the deadbolt on the porch door. He laughs and runs into the living room. This seems to be going from bad to worse. What to do what to do? Finally Liam comes back over to the door and when I tell him to unlock it he reaches up, jiggles the handle a bit and runs off. As an apoplectic rage threatens to overtake me I ponder the irony that just yesterday the wife told me to start deadbolting the door to the garage so that Liam can't get out by mistake. Hmmm, did I actually remember or is it unlocked, please be unlocked door. Thank you, thank you. It's a good thing that I'm lazy by nature and didn't get around to locking the back door or there would be either a broken window and strangled toddler or a daddy sleeping on the porch and two babies with the run of the house when the wife got home tonight at 10:30.

To ease my mind after this torturous affair, I made Curried Carrot Dip tonight, enjoy!

Curried Carrot Dip

1 lb. carrots, peeled and chopped into 1/2"
1/4 cup roasted sunflower seeds
2 tsp grapeseed or other vegetable oil
1/2 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp curry powder
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice

1. Boil the carrots about 10 minutes or so until tender, let cool.
2. Put sunflower seeds in food processor until crumbled, then add remaining ingredients and blend until smooth.
3. Refrigerate at least 30 minutes
4. Serve with crackers, pita bread or fresh veggies.